Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Piece of crap jailed

So, I go away for a couple of weeks and all hell breaks loose. Moldova turns into some kind of mini-Ukraine, and apparently Romania is to blame. Or Romania and twitter anyway. And the Internet in general. And who knows what else? But it's all a series of dark outside forces anyway.

And then, to cap it all, I learn on my return that the world's most obnoxious Romanian, Domnul Gigi "tossface" Becali, is in prison. It all sounds good and great until I learn that he's not been banged up for being an utter wanker (sadly still not a crime anywhere in the world. When, oh when?) but for illegally detaining some blokes who stole his car. And somehow he's gone from being a declining non-entity whose political career was down the toilet and whose football team were imploding, to being some kind of national hero, presumably for acting out some kind of vigilante justice. (Before you, too, start wondering whether taking the law into his own hands was maybe justifiable, you should be apprised of the fact that he did not act alone, but in fact 5 of his "bodyguards" have also been stuck inside. In short, this wasn't some mild act of getting ones own back, this was a fucking lynch mob posse that was drummed up. But, of course, this doesn't matter, and like some kind of latter day Travis Bickle, he's a hero all of a sudden).

And then on top of this, for the upcoming European elections he's dumped his own party (the PNG, which was a personal vanity project anyway) and hooked up with Vadim Tudor's equally racist and extreme-right wing PRM party. And he's second on the party's ticket meaning that he's almost certain to be an MEP (and there's absolutely no danger of national shame there for Romania, not at all). Apparently in the past Becali has called Vadim Tudor a "venomous cancer" and "possessed by the devil", while Vadim has in his turn called Becali "fit for the straightjacket", a "piece of crap"*, and an "electric monkey" (No, I have no idea what that last one means either). But all's well that ends well, and when it comes to representing the views of the small number of Romanian nationalist scum in the European parliament they have put aside their differences and come together in common cause. So, hoorah for democracy. Luckily, Steaua are still crap.

(*I presume he meant a piece of crap in the English sense of crap, rather than a piece of carp, which is what crap means in Romania. I'm not sure being called a piece of carp would be that insulting. Though I suppose if it were the swim bladder, maybe)


Bogdan said...

Actually, it was not "electric monkey", but "electrocuted monkey", which is just as weird.

Gadjo Dilo said...

The way that MEPs can get themselves selected isn't always a good advertisement for true democracy. Bad news.

Andy H said...

Thanks Bogdan. It is a peculiar thing to be called.

On the bright side, GD, extreme xenophobes are not likely to have that good a time in the European parliamant, given that it's (by its very nature) filled with foreigners. And it's difficult to find common cause with people you might have broad political agreement with when your entire identity is about loathing them as people in the first place.

Jonas said...

And it's difficult to find common cause with people you might have broad political agreement with when your entire identity is about loathing them as people in the first place.I'm not sure that's entirely true. It's only their political or PR identity that is such; as fascists the world over have demonstrated again and again, they love working together if it means advancing their common agenda of systematically fucking everything up.

Andy H said...

No, I think it's more difficult. A year or so ago, for example, the far-right blok in the EP fell to pieces because the Italian members were on their customary Romanian-bashing trip, and obviously the Romanian members didn't feel terribly happy about that. It didn't matter that the Italians were basically attacking immigrants in general and just using Romanians as the example.

If you believe that your nationality is inherently superior to anyone else's, you will have a hard time working together for any length of time with people who believe that it is in fact their nationality which is superior, and especially to yours.

Perhaps I'm just being overly optimistic though.

Soj said...

Yahoo! An honest to god rant. I feel like going on one myself. This country is enough to drive anyone sane to the nuthouse.

I believe "electric monkey" might be like one of those monkeys with a wind-up key in its back who claps a cymbal. Might be wrong tho ;)